A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
