you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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