it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
