Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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