Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
