Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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