I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
then he tried to convert me to islam
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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