Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
