maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
