Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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