I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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