I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
