maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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