You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize