WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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