please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
