I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
