I'm really into asian looking animals
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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