he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
