K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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