So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
