She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
