So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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