I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
