im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
