Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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