i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
