When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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