how can u be prego again
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
