well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
