I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
