My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
