Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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