Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
