they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
