dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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