I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
