You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
