so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she told me i tasted like america
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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