How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
