You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
