I skipped work to stalk him.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
