You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
