There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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