so that wasnt chicken after all
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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