We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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