So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
