Buhtt sex?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
