Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Randomize
