I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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